


cold black hearts (don't do crushes)

by niniandsoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Addams Family!au, Crack, EXO - Freeform, Fluff, KaiSoo - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Tsundere Kyungsoo, vaguely morbid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 02:11:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6137809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niniandsoo/pseuds/niniandsoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s hard to have friends when your family’s credo is ‘We gladly feast on those who subdue us”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	cold black hearts (don't do crushes)

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways, here's a crack fic for all of you guys. I was craving for an Addams Family AU and was so surprised when I found out that we don't have it yet? Kyungsoo is basically Wednesday Addams. I hope you love this!

Kyungsoo watches the game between the other kids with a stoic expression, eyes following the ball as it is tossed in the air from team to team with consistent speed.

 

Everyone else is playing in the field, but Kyungsoo is alone, sitting on one of the benches with his legs swinging in the air because he isn’t tall enough for his feet to reach the ground while sitting. _Yet._

 

You see, Kyungsoo doesn’t exactly fall under the ‘normal’ category. Aside from his big eyes that seem to creep everybody out, paper-white skin and reserved disposition, he also belongs to a family that has been regarded as ‘abnormal’ and ‘strange’.

 

His father has a strange fascination with explosives and death. His mother, meanwhile, prefers the thorny stem of the roses she gets everyday over the flowers themselves. His younger brother, Seungsoo, has survived more electrocutions than all the serial killers combined, and their Grandma still practices witchcraft. They also happen to have a misshapen butler, a dismembered hand that walks on its fingers they call ‘ _Thing’_ and an Uncle who resembles a corpse risen from the ground.

 

Collectively, they all have macabre interests, always wear black, and are inclined to like things most people wouldn’t, making them a strange bunch.

 

Kyungsoo is aware that if it weren’t for his family’s generous donations to charities and causes, society would have completely shunned them away already.

 

It should bother him, that every time he’s around, hallways immediately clear out and whispers follow him everywhere. That people give him odd looks and rumors about his family circulate like wildfire daily.

 

But he doesn’t care.

 

Kyungsoo never liked interacting with other people anyway. They were disgusting and only mean to each other.

 

“E-excuse me?”

 

Kyungsoo looks up. A boy with dark skin stands before him, nervously sliding up his glasses perched on top of his nose and looking shorter than he really is with the way he slouches.

 

“Can I sit with you?”

 

Kyungsoo is surprised but there’s no indication on his face that he is. This boy clearly has no idea who he’s talking to, or if he did, was desperate for company.

 

Then, he vaguely recalls that they have a newcomer in school, some kid who just moved from Busan or something.

 

“Yes you may…”

 

“Really? Thanks! I’m Jongin.” He offers a handshake but Kyungsoo only gives him a long look. He eventually drops it.

 

“Kyungsoo.” He replies curtly, crossing his arms together before turning back to the game at hand. Kyungsoo stops himself from smiling when he sees that loudmouth Park Chanyeol getting hit on his face by the ball.

 

The boy sits some distance away from him on the bench and they stay silent for awhile, but during a particularly boring stretch, Kyungsoo opts to look at his companion.

 

Jongin isn’t even watching the game. His eyes are on the ground and his ears and nape are suspiciously red.

 

_Interesting…_

“Why did you move here?” Kyungsoo breaks the silence.

 

Jongin is a little startled when he speaks and looks up at Kyungsoo with a shy expression. “My family’s business got big and mom wanted me to enroll in a private school since she thought it was better.” He makes a face. “I never wanted to attend though, everyone in here is such a snob.” Jongin lapses into silence before his eyes get wide and he tacks on a frantic. “Except you of course.”

 

“Why aren’t you playing?” Kyungsoo asks next, gesturing towards the game in front of them.

 

“I’m asthmatic. I’m also allergic to almost everything. Peanuts, bee stings, shrimps and dust. You name it.” He smiles sheepishly. “I could die anytime.”

 

At the mention of death, Kyungsoo inches just a little closer towards Jongin.

 

\--

 

Because he's forbidden to play and is horrible at socializing, it's only normal when Jongin is lumped together with Kyungsoo and his brother, Seungsoo.

 

He sits with them at lunch, and although they barely talk, Jongin doesn't seem to mind the silence.

 

Of course, because he keeps company with the Dos and is seen as weak by many, Jongin becomes an easy target for bullies preying the school.

 

He sometimes arrives at their table with his glasses broken, or his books gone and probably rotting in some trashcan.

 

One time, Jongin arrives without his lunchbox and he forlornly mutters that some kid called Baekhyun took it from him.

 

Kyungsoo only slides his lunch bag towards Jongin without a word, as he eyes Byun Baekhyun across the room.

 

Needless to say, Kyungsoo starts bringing an extra sandwich to school everyday.

 

\--

 

"Kyungsoo! Kyungsoo! Guess what?"

 

"What?" Kyungsoo shoots back as Jongin sits beside him, lunch bag in hand.

 

"Baekhyun apologized to me today! Can you believe it?"

 

"Really? That's good." Kyungsoo says nonchalantly.

 

"You know what else he said? He said I'm lucky to have a friend like you." Jongin stares at him and smiles. "Did you do something to scare him, Kyungsoo?"

 

For the first time, Kyungsoo feels blood creeping up his cheeks and neck. He blushes and diverts his attention towards the table. "I didn't do anything." He says, before drinking from his cup of bitter coffee.

 

What he’s really saying is, _You don't need to know._

 

\--

 

Kyungsoo lets his family meet Jongin after a while. He brings the younger to the foreboding Do mansion on top of the only hill in the neighborhood and introduces him to all of his family.

 

His mother and father are accommodating as ever, though oblivious as to how invading and strange some of their questions can be.

 

Jongin, meanwhile, takes it all in stride, shy but willing to please Kyungsoo's family nonetheless.

 

During dinner, he answers all of their questions and even manages to catch Mr. Do's attention when he tells them about his father always golfing.

 

"Really, does he break his neighbor's windows too?"

 

Jongin only answers with a mystified expression.

 

They eat and converse, but when the main course is served, Jongin pokes at his food and looks up at Kyungsoo.

 

"Ugh...why is the food moving?"

 

"It's a cat's heart, dear. Freshly butchered just for you." Kyungsoo's grandmother answers with a smile.

 

Jongin promptly goes green and passes out, and when he does, Kyungsoo smiles.

 

\--

 

Years pass and both Jongin and Kyungsoo eventually grow into adolescence. Kyungsoo has now lost his baby fat but remains the same in other aspects. Jongin has sprouted almost a head taller than him, much to his dismay, has outgrown his round spectacles in favor of contact lenses, and has grown lean due to all the dancing he does--it's the only exercise he can do without collapsing because of an asthma attack.

 

He has also gotten a lot of friends in their new school, but still sits with Kyungsoo during lunch even though the conventionally popular kids invite him over at their table. He spends a lot of time in the Dos' mansion and always forces Kyungsoo into visiting his house, even though his parents still find Kyungsoo strange and disapprove of their friendship.

 

Throughout this, Kyungsoo grows fonder and fonder of Jongin. The dancer is the only one who can make him smile without looking like he's planning something sadistic. Jongin never leaves him even though Kyungsoo constantly scares him and is perfectly capable of getting himself a new set of friends. He is the only one capable of forcing out a lullaby from Kyungsoo during their late night calls. He becomes the only exception to everything.

 

One is never without the other.

 

They become a package deal.

 

\--

 

"What took you so long?" Kyungsoo asks as he puts his book down. He's been sitting on the floor of the dance studio for about fifteen minutes, legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles.

 

Jongin shrugs and hands him a box of chocolates. "Had to take care of something."

 

"What's this? You've been bringing a lot of stuff lately." Kyungsoo asks, opening the box and examining the assorted set of chocolates lined up in perfect arrangement. He's never been fond of sweet things, but Jongin has been giving him a lot of them lately. Has been giving him books to read and even flowers.

 

"Chocolates." Jongin deadpans. Much of Kyungsoo's dry sense of humor has rubbed off on him but he's never really gotten the hang of delivering sarcastic answers quite like Kyungsoo does.

 

Kyungsoo shoots him a look but picks out one piece of chocolate to chew on as he waits for Jongin to get ready for practice.

 

He settles against the wall behind him, getting himself ready because watching Jongin dance always makes his heart escalate and his gut clench.

 

\--

 

Kyungsoo finds out about it by accident. He's on his way to the dance studio to wait on Jongin when he sees them as he rounds the corner.

 

The scene looks like it could be taken out of one of the Kdramas Jongin's mom is so fond of watching.

 

Jongin and a girl Kyungsoo doesn't know stand alone in the hallway. The former standing straight with his hands in his pockets and a blank expression on his face. Kyungsoo quickly hides and peeks around the corner to watch everything unfold.

 

"Kai-oppa..." The girl uses Jongin's stage name. "I like you. Please accept this." She offers Jongin a letter and a box of chocolates shouju-manga style, head bowed and eyes on the floor with her arms straight.

 

Kyungsoo doesn't know why, but something in stomach curls as he anticipates Jongin's answer.

 

Jongin takes the cake and letter and the girl hopefully looks up. "I'm sorry Hyeri..." He begins and Kyungsoo watches as the girl's eyes begin to water, all hope lost. "I already have someone else I like."

 

Kyungsoo feels like his insides are being shred into pieces. Somehow, overhearing this confession from his best friend makes him feel terrible. _Jongin likes someone? Who could it be? Why didn't he tell Kyungsoo?_ He's angry at Jongin for not telling him something as big as a crush, but more importantly, he feels something else.

 

Something he doesn't have a name for and makes him see green.

 

"But oppa, I like you so much. Can't you at least try to like me back?" Hyeri asks, mouth trembling as she grips at her skirt.

 

Jongin gives her a gentle smile before shaking his head. "I've liked this person for a very long time. I don't think it's going to easily go away." He ruffles her hair and bends down to look at her in the eye. "Don't you worry, I'm sure you'll find someone better than me."

 

Hyeri sniffs and stays silent for awhile before eventually walking away with a slump to her shoulders and a frown on her face. She doesn't even notice Kyungsoo when she passes by him.

 

 

 

Later that day, Jongin hands Kyungsoo the box of chocolates with a nonchalant "You like black chocolate better, right? You can have it, I don't want it."

 

The letter is nowhere to be seen.

 

\--

 

It's been two weeks since the scene Kyungsoo's witnessed and he's been distant around Jongin lately.

 

He's tried to pry out the truth from Jongin but all the younger ever does when he asks if he's hiding something is avoid Kyungsoo's gaze and keep quiet.

 

It's not that it's Kyungsoo's business. But the thought that Jongin likes someone in a romantic way bothers him more than it should.

 

It keeps him up at night, even though he barely sleeps to begin with, and makes him feel like drinking the bottle of poison he keeps reserved in his cupboard.

 

Kyungsoo runs a hand through his hair and sighs. He's on his way to the dance studio to wait for Jongin again, fifteen minutes ahead because class ended early.

 

When he rounds the corner, he spots a different girl this time. He recognizes her. It's Hyoyeon, a girl who can match Jongin in dancing skills and is well-known to many, even to a social hermit like Kyungsoo.

 

"What are you doing here?" Kyungsoo asks when he gets closer.

 

Hyoyeon takes a step back. She's evidently heard of Kyungsoo and his family's reputation. "Do..." She says before glancing down at the lunchbox in her hand. "I came to talk to Kai-ssi."

 

"Are you going to confess to him?"

 

The girl's eyes widen at his straightforwardness and a blush immediately stains her cheeks. "I—I already confessed to him. He didn't accept my feelings the first time though."

 

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. "Then why are you still here?"

 

"Because—because I really like Kai-ssi. Being rejected the first time isn't going to stop me from liking him." She answers with a determined frown.

 

Kyungsoo crosses his arms together and keeps quiet, Hyoyeon starting to fidget under his scrutiny. "You're wasting your time."

 

"W-what?"

 

"He doesn't like you. He already has someone he likes." He supposes he's being a bit harsh but Kyungsoo never had a strong sense of guilt anyway. Besides, something about this girl irritated him and made him want to let out his sadistic tendencies. This girl, and anybody else who liked Jongin for that matter.

 

"H-how can you be sure?"

 

"I'm his best friend. I know everything." Kyungsoo calmly shoots back.

 

Hyoyeon fixes him with an angry gaze, looking conflicted between leaving and staying to confront Jongin again.

 

“Are you going to leave, or do I have to scalp you?” the threat is delivered in a smooth and calm tone but it still serves its intention. Hyoyeon stiffens and after long stare down from Kyungsoo, eventually walks away.

 

\--

 

Jongin gives the Do mansion a surprise visit during dinner. He rings the doorbell and the gates open with the usual ominous groan that echoes all throughout the neighborhood.

 

When he arrives, Mr. Do greets him and Mrs. Do gives him a sweet smile before inviting him to dinner.

 

"Thank you Mrs. Do, but I'd like to talk to Kyungsoo first?" Jongin looks at him and the elder could already tell that something is different. Jongin is about to tell him something important.

 

"Why can't you just say it here?"

 

"Kyungsoo...please." Jongin begs and his parents urge him to go ahead.

 

This results to them sitting on one of the stone benches of the Dos' private graveyard, staring up at the statue of Kyungsoo’s great, great, great, great grandparents with the family credo beneath. _SIC GORGIAMUS ALLOS SUBJECTOS NUNC._

 

_'We gladly feast on those who subdue us.'_

 

"Why are you here?" Kyungsoo asks, arms crossed. It oddly feels like the first time they met.

 

"I wanted to talk to you."

 

“What about?”

 

Kyungsoo sees Jongin shift from the corner of his eye, turning towards him with what he assumes is a solemn expression.

 

“I wanted to talk to you...about Hyoyeon.”

 

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, heart constricting and a lump forming in his throat. _Is Jongin mad at him? Is he going to tell Kyungsoo that he likes Hyoyeon back?_

 

The notion that Jongin already likes someone makes his chest ache. For some reason.

 

“What about her?”

 

Jongin turns back to staring at the statue, their surroundings quiet for some time except for the occasional flap of bat wings and the howl of a wolf, or maybe, his Uncle.

 

“Today, she was about to confess again to me, wasn’t she?”

 

Kyungsoo fidgets with his fingers for the first time in his life. He’s never been jumpy around anyone. “So?”

 

“You told her that I already have someone I like.” Jongin turns around to look at him and this time, Kyungsoo looks back. “Kyungsoo, do you know?”

 

“Know what?” Kyungsoo asks. It feels like they’re in the brink of something here. Somehow, the look in Jongin’s eyes reminds him of when he’s about to jump right into one of Kyungsoo’s baits—scared but willing to do what Kyungsoo wants him to do anyway.

 

Jongin moves closer and Kyungsoo notices for the first time how warm Jongin really is when their thighs and arms are touching, how he can clearly see his reflection on Jongin’s eyes, pale white skin now a silver because of the moonlight, and how Jongin really is beautiful up close.

 

He has always known that Jongin was...ethereal, especially when he was in his element; dancing. But the effect of this had been lost between pranks and teasing, between battling bullies together and comfortable silences under dying trees in the middle of the Dos’ private graveyard.

 

Kyungsoo stares.

 

Jongin is so painfully beautiful.

 

“Soo?” Kyungsoo’s heart lurches at the nickname Jongin gave him eight years ago. “Why did you tell her that?”

 

Kyungsoo wants to answer with some snarky remark but the words are lost behind the tight lock of his teeth.

 

“Could it be…” Jongin moves even closer and takes Kyungsoo’s hand with his own.

 

Jongin’s hands are warm like any living human being’s should be. It’s strange that Kyungsoo is not repulsed by it.

 

“Could it be, that you like me?”

 

Kyungsoo breaks the eye contact and stares back at his ancestors’ statue but doesn’t take away his hand. “I don’t do liking.”

 

“You’re blushing.”

 

Kyungsoo gives Jongin an indifferent look despite feeling like he could join his Grandparents in their graves at the moment. “I don’t do liking.” He repeats.

 

But what Kyungsoo’s really trying to say is, _I think I might love you, Mon Cherie._

 

And Jongin understands.

 

_“I love you too, Kyungsoo”_

 

\--

 

Jongin stares at Kyungsoo and smiles a little at the sight of his best friend slash not so boyfriend with the bouquet of dead roses (all without their bulbs of course), the box containing a cat he himself had stuffed and a doll without a head (Kyungsoo was still very fond of those).

 

“Jongin, what is this?” he asks.

 

They are in the Dos’ graveyard for what seems to be the nth time in Jongin’s memory. This was the place that witnessed his first confession, and their chaste first kiss, so it only seemed fitting that after almost fifteen years of being friends and being Kyungsoo’s devout worshipper that Jongin propose to him, here.

 

They been through many hardships and times of bliss, but it was somewhere between hellish torture(which had him seeing a therapist for one year) and being Kyungsoo’s partner in crime in all of his schemes and devious plans that Jongin decided that this pale, wide-eyed person was the one he wanted to devote his soul and life to.

 

“Kyungsoo, have you ever thought about having a family and spending the rest of your life with someone you love?”

 

“No.” Kyungsoo deadpans with a blink, eyes wide and expression as blank as ever.

 

Jongin isn’t the least bit perturbed. “Well, what if you found someone who would adore you unconditionally? Who would love you and be your devoted slave? Who would worship you and do everything you ever wanted?”

 

“Everything?”

 

“Everything.” Jongin wholeheartedly agrees, his parents’ words echoing in his head. _You must be going mad!_ He probably is. To promise his life to someone bordering on psychotic, he must be going crazy.

 

“I’d pity them.” Is Kyungsoo’s only answer but there is no mistaking the color on his cheeks and ears. It was the best answer he was going to get.

 

Jongin fishes out the small box from his pocket, the velvet soft and smooth in his hands, as he moves to kneel in front of Kyungsoo.

 

“Jongin…?”

 

Jongin pops the lid open. He wasn’t sure what to get Kyungsoo or if Kyungsoo would even accept his proposal in the first place, so a nice, simple engagement ring was what he got. It still cost him a fortune, but he’d do anything for the love of his life.

 

“Do Kyungsoo…” Jongin begins, looking up at the other. Kyungsoo looks vaguely mystified and scared. “I have devoted all of my life to you and I want to continue my devotion for the rest of eternity. There’s no other that has enslaved me like this, no other devil I am willing my soul to.” Jongin shifts and gets the ring out of its box. He positions the ring in front of Kyungsoo’s ring finger and looks up at the love of his life. “What I’m saying is…will you…marry me?”

 

Kyungsoo stay silent for a _long_ moment, which has Jongin getting nervous, his hands starting to sweat. What if Kyungsoo doesn’t want to marry him?

 

“Will you join in my hellish crusade to seek out the dark forces and join them?” Kyungsoo finally asks.

 

“Yes!” Jongin nods eagerly.

“Are you going to be my slave for all eternity? Will you do everything I want you to do?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Are you willing to sacrifice and sell your soul to me, devote all of your time and passion to me, and me only?”

 

“Yes!” Jongin fairly screams now. “Yes to everything, my love!”

 

Kyungsoo lapses into silence again, but this time, a soft, genuine smile graces his features. He bends down to give Jongin one soft kiss before straightening up, staring into the eyes of the man who sees the stars in his eyes.

 

“Then I am yours, Mon Cher.”

**Author's Note:**

> this whole fic was crack lol. comments and kudos are much appreciated! :)


End file.
